My Last Chemo--Ring that Bell

My Last Chemo...July 17, 2012

 My mom came to every chemo...thanks for being there!

July 3, 2012

Cheryl, me and my mom at my last treatment.

Cheryl helps patients who have to go through this nightmare.

 My gang came to my last treatment.  They wanted to see what I was doing all this time.

My two little ones.  They are so sweet.  Love you too babe (Todd)

I am so excited.  I had my last chemo and it feels great to be done.  I know that I have a LONG road ahead but it is full of different things.  First, I have my surgery on August 10. I will have a skin sparing double mastectomy.  I will be down for about a month.  I won't be able to lift anything and might be in some pain.  I will try to work partial days as much as I can at first.  We will take it one day at a time.  After about 6 weeks, I will start my radiation.  This should be fun.  During all this time I will be traveling to Salt Lake City for drain checks, filling of my implant, doctors appointments, etc.  After I am done with all of this lovely stuff, I will be having another surgery to finalize my reconstruction.  It takes about a full year to finish all of these things.  I am done with the most yucky part, I think.  Hopefully all of the rest of the steps are much easier. 

My name is....

I got to be apart of another wonderful woman's blog today....check it out.  It is my story.http://www.mynameisjacy.com/

The good, bad and the ugly

In honor of my 7th chemo today I thought I would write a list of all the good and bad things of cancer..... Good
1. I am using less shampoo and conditioner (no hair=less money spent).
2. You look at life in a whole new way (nothing is set in stone and there are no guarentees).
3. You meet a whole new variety of people (us cancer patients have to stick together).
4. Lots of time for reading and solitare.
5. I have been able to sport lots of new hats (I am so lucky, I know).
 6. I get to wear a lot of pink (my new favortite color).
7. I have a whole new appreciation for my family and friends (I love visitors).
8. I take lots of baths (helps with the pain).
9. I feel all the prayers being said in my behalf, they lift me up.
10. I am doing things now that I have put off until "later".

Bad
1. Nausea, you don't feel like eating anything, even your favorite food.
2. The forgetful brain, I can't seem to remember anyone's name.
3. Being tired, I get pretty run down.
4. All the scars on my body and in my soul (it does change you..good and bad).
5. Looking like the alien baby on the latest sci-fi show (my bald head isn't my finest moment).
6. Looking forward to getting my body chopped up (ha, ha, ha).
7. All the germs around me (Wal-Mart is the worst offender).
8. The hot flashes (wow baby, this is a new experience)
9. Being scared about my future (the cancer is very unpredictable).
10. All the pills and drugs going into my body. I don't like to add all these chemicals to my body.

So as you can see, cancer changes you. It might be for good and bad but it is going to happen. I am grateful for this challenge. I am almost done with one part of it. I have surgery and radiation left. After that it will be doctors appointments, tests and lab draws here and there. I will be alive and that is worth it.

Making it through

It has been a week since my last chemo. I made it through the week. I had a lot of pain but that subsided this morning. I really can't answer which is worse, the pain or the nausea. I can eat with this chemo but when the pain starts, oh my it is rough. I only have 5 weeks left. I can see an end to this! Wahoo. I am so grateful for all my blessings. I am grateful for my amazing family, my home, my job, my church, my friends, and the world we have around us. I just laid on the grass yesterday and I enjoyed every second of it. The coolness of the grass, the breeze on my face, the quiet around me. I have an appreciation of life now. I know it can be taken away with no warning.

My End Goal

I have a goal...It is July 17...that is my last chemo date. After that I have a few weeks of normal. I get to feel like me for a few last weeks. I will have my own body back before I get "the Change". I will have my surgery in early August. I am grateful for all these doctors who are helping me live a longer life but I really wish I didn't need their help. I was just fine living the way that I was. I was fine being a mom, a teacher, a plain old boring woman. Now, I will be a cancer survivor always. I have mixed emotions. I am so happy that life will go on and that I will be able to keep being with my family. I am also sad that I am forever changed. It will always be at the back of my mind. Cancer....you stupid cancer, you suck! I do have happy news..today at my doctors appointment, my tumor was non-palpable. This means that it wasn't felt on the outside. My tumor has gone from 5 cm to non-palpable. This is great. The chemo is working. I am going through this hell for a reason, yeah! Thanks for all the happy thoughts and prayers coming our way. It is so so appreciated. I would like to hear from more people. Leave me a comment...I love to get them. Sometimes it's what gets me through a rough spot. :)

New Chemo, new struggles

Well Taxol was interesting. I have lost the nausea but gained other interesting enemies. I got a lot of pain in my legs and stomach. It reminded me of labor pain when I did natural childbirth with my last child. I am not allowed to take ibuprofin only tylenol. It didn't touch my pain. I also got this really bad rash on my arms. It has since turned into really really dry skin. I look like a snake, ssssss. My fingers also are very sensitive. I have to be careful what I try to open or touch. It is really my fingernails. I am really hoping that I don't lose my fingernails. That would be really painful. I don't know what is worse the pain or the nausea. I can eat but I couldn't walk well for about 5 days. I feel like I am aging, I hate that. I have to keep thinking, only 3 more treatments. Then I get opened up for surgery. I will have an eventful summer but at least I will be alive. I do want to thank every one for their prayers, cards and food. We have been very blessed. Every one is so wonderful. We are very grateful for everyone in our lives.

Summer Fun

I have decided to look at the positive...I feel better and I have been able to spend time with the kids.  Life does go on.  It doesn't stop just because I have cancer.  I might have to slow down every two weeks and not do as much but it keeps going.  The kids are in all kinds of actitivities and I like it that way.  I don't want them to look at this time and say, "Oh, that's when mom had cancer and it was the worst time of my life."  We had Jordan's birthday and Ryan got on his braces.  It has been a good start of the summer. 

 My little guy, getting so big!

                                                          Cupcakes for Jordan's birthday

                                                             Big four year old!

                                                                  Braces!!!!

Aunt Carly and Houston...

I get chemo tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it.  I get taxol..it is a new drug for me.  I am hoping that it is much better and I will recover really quickly.  I have my appointment set for Huntsman's for my first dr appointment with the surgeon and plastic surgeon.  I am looking forward to that.  I am grateful for my sister in law, Cindy and all the support she has given me.