Chemo update

Well I had Chemo on Tuesday.  It pretty much kicked my butt this week.  I am tired, tired, tired.  I also have the upset stomach and my hair began to fall out in LARGE clumps.  This is pretty hard for me.  My whole life, I have had pretty good hair.  I never felt like coloring it, perming it or even cutting it that much.  This step has been very difficult for me.  I asked Todd today if he would just shave it off.  I was tired of having clumps in my hands at all times.  This will take some getting used to but at least I will live!  I'm taking one for the team.

Cancer update

So I went to my doctor today. My tumor has gone from 10 cm by 10 cm to 5.5 cm by 5 cm. It shrank by half with one dose of chemo, YEAH! This of course is an outside measurement so I am sure it is smaller without skin and such. This gives me hope! I also found out that I was staged at STAGE 3, not STAGE 2 like my surgeon had estimated. This was kind of a downer. It is okay though because I will beat this. I am estrogene positive, HER2 negative and progesterone neutral. The doctor was thinking that I might have to do ALL of my chemo before surgery, :( I really wanted to have a break in the middle. Well, I will do whatever is best for my body. He is recommending a double mastectomy. Wow, that is pretty life changing. I am hoping to be able to go to the Huntsman Cancer Center in Salt Lake City to do the surgery. They can do immediate reconstruction with skin sparing and such. I am just working out the insurance situation now. Some great news...I am BRCA 1 and 2 negative. This is a genetic test. It is a gene that causes breast and ovarian cancer. If I was positive, I would be lookig at having to get my ovaries out too. About time I got some good news. I do have to see a genetics dr though for some more testing. I sure hope that my girls never have to go through this, especially not at such a young age.

Thank you

To my mother, Thank you for being there for me. I couldn't do this without you. You are someone I can talk to, share things with, cry with and depend on. I am so helpless when I am under my treatment. It is a horrible feeling to be so dependent. Todd and I are so grateful for all you do for us. Thank you for helping me make it through this very trying time. I love you.

Treatment Tomorrow

 

This is how I feel.  I am not excited for tomorrow.  I get my second treatment tomorrow morning.  I have my first cold while doing chemo and it sucks.  Adding chemo to this is going to stink.  The hair loss has started (kind of).  I am sure that with the second dose of chemo it will pick right up.  I had such a good week last week.  I almost felt normal, well my new kind of normal.  I guess I am going to have to live for the good weeks.  I am really lucky though, I get to watch all kinds of TV this week.  Just add in the Zofran, compozine and Adivan and I will be a barrel of laughs.  Let the fun begin!  Ha, ha, ha.

My Amazing Sister

My amazing sister has been such an uplifting support through all of this unending nightmare.  I can always count on her to listen to me, cry with me or be the one to "Curse you cancer".   I am thankful for all those in my life who have been a support and are helping to ease this tremendous burden.

Relay for Life

Relay for Life at SUU

Friday night was the annual Relay for Life at Southern Utah University.  It was kind of strange to register at the SURVIVORS table.  I know that I am a survivor and I am really grateful for that but it isn't a club that I necessarily wanted to become a part of.  I am really uplifted by all the courageous people who have fought cancer and won.  It gives me hope to know that many people have battled this demon and won.  I am just mad that this is where my life has taken me.  I am going to take that fight and keep battling this. My good friend bought me this cool bag and they lit them in the evening to honor those people who have had cancer.  I was able to walk the first lap with my family.  I had three of my kids with me.  Kaili was able to let our purple balloons go and the end of the lap, she liked that.   I only lasted two hours but it was good to get out and see people.  I was able to see the nice kids from GYC, a club at my school that I help with.  They donated $500.00 to the Relay for Life.  I am impressed by all those who support the effort to find a cure for cancer. 

Work

My Support System at Work!

I returned to work today.  I actually feel normal, sort of.  I still feel wierd...not myself but it was good to be around other people.  I was helping others, not just sitting around my house singing the "poor me" song.  I was having conversations that didn't revolve around the CANCER...I loved it.  I really loved being around the students.  It was good to see their happy faces and remember that, I love teaching.  I am pooped but it is really good to get back to my normal routine.  I have the best friends in the world at work.  They lift me up and help me see the good in people.  Thank you for all you've done for me.  One of the brave ladies I love also has breast cancer.  She is exactly one week ahead of me on her treatment.  I admire her strength and I am looking to her for the courage I need to make it to next week, :)