Making it through

It has been a week since my last chemo. I made it through the week. I had a lot of pain but that subsided this morning. I really can't answer which is worse, the pain or the nausea. I can eat with this chemo but when the pain starts, oh my it is rough. I only have 5 weeks left. I can see an end to this! Wahoo. I am so grateful for all my blessings. I am grateful for my amazing family, my home, my job, my church, my friends, and the world we have around us. I just laid on the grass yesterday and I enjoyed every second of it. The coolness of the grass, the breeze on my face, the quiet around me. I have an appreciation of life now. I know it can be taken away with no warning.

My End Goal

I have a goal...It is July 17...that is my last chemo date. After that I have a few weeks of normal. I get to feel like me for a few last weeks. I will have my own body back before I get "the Change". I will have my surgery in early August. I am grateful for all these doctors who are helping me live a longer life but I really wish I didn't need their help. I was just fine living the way that I was. I was fine being a mom, a teacher, a plain old boring woman. Now, I will be a cancer survivor always. I have mixed emotions. I am so happy that life will go on and that I will be able to keep being with my family. I am also sad that I am forever changed. It will always be at the back of my mind. Cancer....you stupid cancer, you suck! I do have happy news..today at my doctors appointment, my tumor was non-palpable. This means that it wasn't felt on the outside. My tumor has gone from 5 cm to non-palpable. This is great. The chemo is working. I am going through this hell for a reason, yeah! Thanks for all the happy thoughts and prayers coming our way. It is so so appreciated. I would like to hear from more people. Leave me a comment...I love to get them. Sometimes it's what gets me through a rough spot. :)

New Chemo, new struggles

Well Taxol was interesting. I have lost the nausea but gained other interesting enemies. I got a lot of pain in my legs and stomach. It reminded me of labor pain when I did natural childbirth with my last child. I am not allowed to take ibuprofin only tylenol. It didn't touch my pain. I also got this really bad rash on my arms. It has since turned into really really dry skin. I look like a snake, ssssss. My fingers also are very sensitive. I have to be careful what I try to open or touch. It is really my fingernails. I am really hoping that I don't lose my fingernails. That would be really painful. I don't know what is worse the pain or the nausea. I can eat but I couldn't walk well for about 5 days. I feel like I am aging, I hate that. I have to keep thinking, only 3 more treatments. Then I get opened up for surgery. I will have an eventful summer but at least I will be alive. I do want to thank every one for their prayers, cards and food. We have been very blessed. Every one is so wonderful. We are very grateful for everyone in our lives.

Summer Fun

I have decided to look at the positive...I feel better and I have been able to spend time with the kids.  Life does go on.  It doesn't stop just because I have cancer.  I might have to slow down every two weeks and not do as much but it keeps going.  The kids are in all kinds of actitivities and I like it that way.  I don't want them to look at this time and say, "Oh, that's when mom had cancer and it was the worst time of my life."  We had Jordan's birthday and Ryan got on his braces.  It has been a good start of the summer. 

 My little guy, getting so big!

                                                          Cupcakes for Jordan's birthday

                                                             Big four year old!

                                                                  Braces!!!!

Aunt Carly and Houston...

I get chemo tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it.  I get taxol..it is a new drug for me.  I am hoping that it is much better and I will recover really quickly.  I have my appointment set for Huntsman's for my first dr appointment with the surgeon and plastic surgeon.  I am looking forward to that.  I am grateful for my sister in law, Cindy and all the support she has given me.