Birthday

My birthday is coming and let's face it, it's been a pretty horrible year.  My 34th year will forever be remembered as the worst year of my life (so far).  I am excited to turn 35 because it will turn the page on this never ending saga.  I have been asked what I wanted and I have a few wishes:
     1.  No more poison being dripped into my chest.
     2.  No more knives cutting away my body.
     3.  No more scarves, hats or soft cloths for my head (hair growth is fabulous).
     4.  No more nightmares about cancer growing back....I will really have to work on this.
     5.  I would really like to limit the amount of people who see my breasts, yes they are still mine and       I still have some amount of dignity.
      6.  I would like to take away the pity in people eyes when they see me.  I am still alive and I don't
       need people to see me as a cancer patient.
      7.  I would like to take away my fear, fear that I will never see another birthday,  another              Christmas, children's graduations and all of the fun events in their lives.
      8. I would love to take away my scars, the physical and the emotional ones. 
      9.  I would like to forgive myself and God.  It wasn't my fault this happened and it wasn't God's.
       It happened and now I need to move forward.

Okay I had my pity party and now I can move on.  There is more to cancer than the medical treatment.  We have to talk about it and then we can move on.